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Kevin’s Ass

My name is Manuel and I’m Kevin’s ass

That is, I’m a donkey or burro—retired (at an early age) from the circus. I’m not a little burro—or burrito—but I’m not a big ass, either. I’m not like Clyde, Kevin’s fish, who tells where he lives on his home page—I’m much more private. And besides, Kevin doesn’t want a lot of folks stopping by to check out his ass. I’m not easy to find anyway because Kevin moves me around a lot, which gets me into trouble unexpectedly (and of course undeservedly). You may have heard the expression, “Kevin’s ass is on the line again.”

As Kevin’s ass, I sometimes get into trouble. But he does what he can to prevent that. After all, as an animal welfare advocate he has spent most of his life protecting, conserving, and caring for animals.

I don’t have a photo to show you right here because I am, after all, very private. Only Kevin’s very close friends get to see his ass—and even not all of them get to (most don’t WANT to). But some who have seen me say that I’m very cute (most, out of politeness, say nothing at all). If you persist . . . further down the page . . . maybe . . .

I’m also pretty silly. In fact, I’m the silliest ass you’ve probably ever heard of. But I’m not a dumb ass! I’m pretty bright, actually, for also being such an ass. Even so, it’s Kevin who is more often thought of as the smart ass in the family.

That’s all I have to say. But from now on, when you are having a conversation with Kevin and he’s responds to some remark you’ve made by saying “MY ASS!” he’s probably just thinking how cute, or silly, or bright you are—in other words, you’ve just reminded him of me!

A story I heard recently . . .

There was an old man, a boy and a donkey. They were going to town and it was decided that the boy should ride. As they
went along they passed some people who thought that it was
a shame for the boy to ride and the old man to walk.

The man and boy decided that maybe the critics were right
so they changed positions. Later, they passed some more
people who thought that it was a real shame for that man to
make such a small boy walk. The two decided that maybe
they both should walk.

mosca_8 Soon they passed some more people who thought that it was stupid to walk when they had a donkey to ride. The man and the boy decided maybe the critics were right so they decided that they both should ride.

They soon passed other people who thought that it was a
shame to put such a load on a poor little animal. The old
man and the boy decided that maybe the critics were right
so they decided to carry the donkey.

As they crossed a bridge they lost their grip on the animal
and it fell into the river and drowned.

The moral of the story is . . . if you try to please everyone,
you will eventually lose your ass.

Last updated: August 4, 2019 at 17:01 pm